So, is it ok to say absolutely anything if you use a :)

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Kallima

So, is it ok to say absolutely anything if you use a :)

Post by Kallima »

There seems to have been a lot of this lately in game and on forums. Someone says something that offends someone and the defence is that they used a smilie so that automatically made it ok. So I hit this with someone. Far more worrying to me was I got the same response from his GM, who was present when it happened. I asked him to suggest to his guildmember it might be wise to think a bit before saying such things, and the response was that you should not be offended by anything when someone ends it with :).

So is that true? Would that guild master get annoyed if someone made accusations about his guild and ended it with :). I obviously wasn't going to declare war and test that, but how do people really react when they are the person on the recieving end.

So if you are bored, imagine a test for me. Think of something as offensive as possible. The thing that would really upset you most. It can be personal or against a huge group of people, so long as you would find it really offensive. Obviously some people might find something highly unusual offensive, so lets say it has to be something that would automatically get the poster a few days ban on FH for saying it as a straight comment about someone. It can be accusations of cheating, personal insults, or even real life threats against you, your girlfriend or your child. Because the principle here is that you should not be angry about ANYTHING if the person puts :) at the end.

Now imagine a total stranger joins the group you are in, and after a few minutes makes that offensive remark in a battlegroup of a hundred people.

So, do you get angry? Or is it really true that ending with :) excuses ANY remark?

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Shike
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Post by Shike »

of course not everything said is to be forgiven because of a smilie, its a matter or manners really. If its someone I know regularly is sarcastic I know I can expect something worse from that person than someone I dont know at all aswell.

Also, if Im new to a crowd, ofc I wont start spamming idiotic remarks asap and expect to get away with it, thats called poor social intelligence.

If someone start calling me silly stuff ingame I use /ignore and report them, nothing more to it. If its abusive they get a warning hopefully. This have happened about.. 2 times, in soon 5 years DAoCing though so it aint too often it happens.
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Mojo
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Post by Mojo »

If it was a comment made directly to me and about me I would ask myself why they said it? was it true? was it justified etc etc. If it was a sweeping comment I wouldn't take much notice.
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OohhoO
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Post by OohhoO »

I guess it's not always easy to tell in advance what someone is going to find offensive, but in general I don't think it's OK to say things just to annoy or hurt people. That's just abusive & abuse isn't OK in any form IMO, wether with or without smilie.

The golden rule is still - If it's not nice don't post/say it!
Of course I don't always manage to live up to this rule :( but the theory is still good :)
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Moley:)
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Post by Moley:) »

I don't think before i post but usually throw smiley on as im always in a playful/annoying mood :)

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Belisar
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Post by Belisar »

The problem with the written word is that you cannot put any inflection or meaning into the words. You cannot see the other persons face and therefore they cannot see yours. Your meaning and intent may not be the way any comment or sentence is read. As a result it is important to be a little sensible about what you write and how you write it.

I have seen on this forum a few times people get upset by comments that appeared to hold little malicious intent and I have seen some seemingly spiteful comments covered with a smiley of some kind. Both of these leave me scratching my head and I guess go to prove you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

Hard to be too constructive with your problem without knowing what was said (and no I do not think you should post it, you informed the GM which was the right thing to do) but with so many people leaving hib for the classic servers I do think we will see more upset and issues. Why ? Because those who are left are either nice, helpful, social people or those who play only to win and cannot see or handle anything else.

When you have two factions so far apart in their thinking problems are always going to arise.

Ah well one more person for your ignore list and with so few decent druids running in RvR I guess the loss is more theirs than yours.

PS I tried to upset Moley in Mid Glaston yesterday but he would not bite - must try harder.
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Post by maxis »

Hard to make a generalisation really...

Many people use smilies in this way to indicate sarcasm, i.e. I might add a smiley if I was parodying a l33t attitude etc; i.e. something which actually I didn't agree with.

So, of course it doesn't give you blanket licence to be offensive; the context is important.
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Post by Shi »

sadists smile while being mean to ppl/animals
it's exactly the same with written words on forum, some ppl take pleasure of being mean
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Heta
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Post by Heta »

Shike wrote:Also, if Im new to a crowd, ofc I wont start spamming idiotic remarks asap and expect to get away with it, thats called poor social intelligence.
you saying I got poor social intelligence?

omg.. I hate you now :(
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Satyn
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Post by Satyn »

Respect for Kallima for bringing up the subject, i've tried it a couple of times and got my nose bitten off i'm not trying again.
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