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As title explains this is going to take some time so im gonna be bored for a while i think . So can anyone brighten up my day ? :nervous:

Thanks

An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar.

"What happened?" says the doctor.

"Well," the old man starts, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left -- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called Evelyn, the lady next door, but still nothing."

The doctor bursts out, "You asked your neighbor?"

"Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get that damn jar open."

**ROFL** Thanks for that one mate , you got me in stitches. It's on 13 % now :classic:

Cool. Here's another I like:

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveles with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.
As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape (no pun intended).
He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more exicited making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him," he says...
This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and he starts doing flips.
Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.

"Now, tell HIM you have a headache."

**LMAO** Where do you find such gold mate!! :laugh:

20 % on download now

Hmm there was this joke thread on another forum I frequent so I copy/pasted...

Hehe, and to think i thought you had some talent then . Shame really could make a lot of money selling joke books, if people read books now a days

ONLY 70% TO GO ! :poke: ... Anything new and exciting from patch? Except those new characters that is .

a man walks into a doctors and says "doctor, theres a steering wheel down my pants" and the doctor says "does it hurt" , "no" the man says. "but its driving me nuts"

D!ng half way *aplause* .. just looking at VGcats to past time , is great .. just asking if any one got some good website which will make me chuckle while i wait ? - and no Banana not that 'type in ur name and know ur a cheese' site .Hehe :knockout: