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bleh, always when i got some cunning plan goa decides that the server must close for something or other.

needed something to do so i thought i'd post this slight amusement.

after digging through my collection of books to read i found a copy of David Gemmel's - "The first chronicles of Druss the Legend"

Sieben the saga poet was telling his tales of heroism and of ladies of lesser virtue shall we say. he told a joke which i must admit i found amusing..

Here is the tale of a Hero captured by the vicious enemy.
He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life:
he must survive four trials by ordeal.
The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals,
The second to drink a quart of the strongest spirits.
Thirdly he had to enter a cave and with a pair of small tongs remove a bad tooth from a mankilling lioness.
Lastly he was told he had to make love to the ugliest crone in the village.

Well, he pulled off his boots and told them to bring him to the trench of hot coals, he promptly strode through to the other side where he lifted the quart of spirit and drained it,
hurling the pot aside he then stumbled into the cave,
there followed the most terrible sounds of spitting, growling, and banging and shrieking. The listening men found their blood growing cold.
At last the warrior staggered out into the sunlight "Right" he said "Now wheres the woman with the toothache"


Jas...

hehe but thats how Danny met Ellen!

/Ankh

ROFL nice1

A cat goes up to a rooster and says, "I can do anything you can do!" The rooster took the challenge and jumped over a broomstick. The cat jumped over the broomstick and said, "See, I can do anything you can do!" The rooster then went to a tiny brook, jumped/flew across and then asked the cat to do it. The cat ran, jumped, and fell in the water. The rooster had a great laugh as the cat got out of the water. The moral of this story: wherever there is a wet pussy, there's a happy cock

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"First check for bees."

Rofl