FAO Drachais

[Aran_Thule]

<grins> got reminded of this and read them again, ring any bells? no well i highlighted a few bits :aran2:

Hibernian Robe Crested Bolter (Eldritch)

Spindly, dextrous and pointed of ears, the Robe Crested Bolter is a common species found roaming the greens of Emain. Known for its ability to incinerate things, which it presumably developed in order to survive the fact is has a laughable capacity for absorbing damage.

While fairly agile, it is predominantly weak when confronted in physical melee. Undaunted by this, it often arms itself with a blunt object and paper thin materials it seems to think are "armour". Its dress like "armour" however, tends to at times actually imped its physical ability to flee from danger, rather then help. Its feeble constitution makes it prone to a variety of severe injuries that can be sustained from such things as "strong gusts of wind", "pillows" and "being sneezed in the general direction of."

Luckily, a fair number of Bolters realise the fact they are one hit wonders and easy melee prey to pretty much anything, including even the native Bubble Kitten. Thus they often attach themselves to roving groups of other species for protection, or at least just to have someone distract natural predators for the 3s required to incinerate them into ash.

Despite its defensive drawbacks, the Robe Crested Bolter commands some of the most fearsome offensive abilities of any native species. Provided nothing gets within slapping range of it anyway. It is capable of frying, freezing, incinerating and otherwise decimating opponents with its rampet arcane powers. Sadly, these same powers are sometimes known to wear away at the thin mental fabric of their minds. Potentially making the Bolter a tad more aggressive then he really should be.

While capable of a variety of destructive powers, the Bolter gets its name from well, Bolts, dangerous ranged attacks mustered from the power of sheer Uncreation itself.

Or at least thats what they think.

In reality, some greater power somewhere decided a practical joke was in order, and swapped the defination of Bolt spells with the defination of "Pretty fireworks" spells. The end result is a Robe Crested Bolter will often hurdled pulsating balls of doom into a battle, when in actuality the spells were merely designed to make the battle seem more "exciting" to any spectators by providing massive, flashy special effects.

Sadly, the Bolter often desperately clings to what he's been taught. That Bolts are indeed pulsating chariots of Death to be hurdled at ones foes and the Bolter himself is the single most powerful force in the realms. Ironically, this often results in many Bolters unknowingly blaming or cursing the original higher powers responsible for the practical joke to begin with.

In actualty, Bolts can be used as an offensive weapon. They simply are only effective against specific targets. A Bolt cannot harm anything in combat, anything running, anything walking, anything wearing anything thicker then a sweater or anyone thinking about being in combat, walking, running or wearing anything thicker then a sweater.

This limits the Robe Crested Bolters natural prey to small, slow moving woodland creatures, some types of pesky garden weeds and naked mimes.

There are 3 general Breeds of Robe Crested Bolter, though as always some inter breeding is to be expected.


Robe Crested Flashy Bolter (Also known as a Void Bolter, Robe Crested GTaoer, or merely as "(@&$ing gtaoe.")

Perhaps the most misguided of all 3 breeds, the Void Bolter actually pursued further strengthening of the forementioned Bolts. Unfortunately, stregthening ones Bolts is much like multiplying something by 0.

Due to repeated failures and dwindling hope of their Bolts ever actually harming another living creature, Void Bolters often lash out angrily with various AoE abilities or other crippling effects. Since their primary single target attack is laughable at best, they reason the next best thing is to simply strike EVERY god damn thing they can hit in a single cast.

Its not uncommon to see thse black sheep randomly stop and annihilate entire fields of small woodland animals with a single cast just to reassure themselves of their own fantastical power.

Known Calls
"HE WAS SITTING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OPEN FIELD! HOW THE HELL WAS THAT IN COMBAT!?"
"Hah! I am the master of Uncreation, I wield the sheer power of the Void, Life and Death are mine to command as I channel the single most powerful spec line known, COME ON BARBARIANS, tre......need rez."
"Hehehehe, sorry guys, I musta clicked on my AoE by accident. Still, that was pretty funny. Um...so..did the rezzer log out in time?"
"POP goes the young badger....POP goes the Annoying Lucridan....POP goes the.....dammit (quickcasts stun)."
"Hah, you call that a pull? That was pathetic, you barely scratched it. Let ME pull you sissy ass."
"Bwahaha, ya see that pull? That bolt did like 30% to a Purple! Hah! I am such a badass, I.....jeebus! TAUNT YOU WORTHLESS MONKIES USE TAUNT!"


Robe Crested Pyrobolter (Also known as the Light Bolter, Thermobolter, or Lightritch)

Unlike the Flashy Bolter, this Breed either didn't have the faith in Void, or was a Flashy Bolter in another life, but depression and frustration drove him to use his respec.

Pyrobolters rely on one thing, pure thermo nuclear single target liquification. They don't care if they can't hit 67 people at once, because they sure as hell can evaporate one and often do so with sadistic glee.

Unlike the somewhat more subtle Flashy Bolter, the Pyrobolters primary means of attack basically screams "ATTENTION ALL TANKS AND OR ROGUES I AM IN THIS DIRECTION SIMPLY FOLLOW THE SCREAMING LINE OF FIRE TO FIND AND/OR GANK ME." and usually negates any and all hope of the Pyrobolter remaining unnoticed on the battle field. While the Pyrobolter DOES have more subtle means of attack at its disposal, such spells simply aren't as flashy or impressive.

This breed is also capable of blinding and mesmerizing its opponents, as well as having a stun from Hell itself. But these tricks are simply viewed as nessacary evils in the Pyrobolters continued quest to set people, things, trees, houses, creation, etc on fire.

Known Calls
"Huh huh....fire, fIRE, FIRE."
"Hah, you know your armours on fire right? Betcha wished ya spec'd Mastery of Water and had a lake nearby now doncha punk?"
"I will crush your feeble mental capacities with a BARRAGE OF COLOUR! YES! HOW DOES THAT FEEL?! Feeling woozy are ya? Huh? Oh big Mr Troll ain't so tough now is he? With his big axes and.......purge sucks. So...um...any rezzers near MWE?"
"So, this one time I mezzed like, this ENTIRE field of rabbits, dogs, rats, bats, birds, hell EVERYTHING with a pulse fell over and stared at the pretty colours. It was cool...course...then a Void Eld came along and one shotted them all in a single cast. But still, mez rocks."

Robe Crested Seizure Bolter (Also known as the Thermo Strobe, PBaoer or simply "Staring into the core of the Sun.")

Unlike the other 2 breeds which have some semblance of self preservation, the Thermo Strobe bolter has channeled all of its strength into the insanely dangerous point blank area of effect spell.

While wildly powerful, its primary means of attack requires it to wade into the midst of natural predators in order to be effective. This results in a dangerous mix of suicidal tendencies and homical rage. Despite having the most meager defence of any natural species, the Seizure Bolter will often burst from hiding and run screaming into packs of enemies in order to deliver its thermo nuclear payload. Often relying on his spells ability to tap into the goddam core of the Sun itself to daze and blind his opponents long enough to cast it more then once.

When not in combat, the Thermo Bolter will prowl around, sometimes even solo, seeking large packs of foes it can toss its life away at. Its not unusual to see some of these death bombs run headlong into siege parties or pressed up against walls and doors searing the retinas of friend and foe alike.

Known Calls
"Dammit, thats the 7th time...you SURE you guys are using Taunt? Fine fine...waiting on rez sickness."
"Hah, they'll never see it coming! They're all concentrating on that keep door, stupid idiots, I'll just job over there and....need rez."
"Did ya see that?!I musta laid out like 9000 damage smack down on those punks! So...any rezzers near Crauch?"
"Hmm? Oh, Aspirin? Yeah...I always have to carry some, here."
"Why am I wearing sunglasses? Erm...you've never grouped with a Mana Eld before have you?"

Excerpt from the DaoC Wilderness Guide,
- Aelhaeran
-------------------------------------------
If you want to read the other ones i posted them here

[Kallima]

<Kallista looks pointedly at Aran> I would be extremely careful about criticising eldritches in any way, or you sleep on the floor tonight...

[Tuthmes]

"Its feeble constitution makes it prone to a variety of severe injuries that can be sustained from such things as "strong gusts of wind", "pillows" and "being sneezed in the general direction of."

"Huh huh....fire, fIRE, FIRE."

:lol2:

[Sharkith]

a quality FAO thread - much better than anything FH has ever managed to develop.