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Ok not poems in this thread just some quotes you fin funny or interesting or whatever.... as I am about to go get pissed I thought I would start it with one of the great troublemakers of our times....

"Are you Married?"

"Am I not a Man? And is not a man stupid? I'm a man. So I'm married. Wife, children, house everything. The full catastrophe!" Zorba the Greek
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"Life is trouble only death is not! To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble!" Zorba the Greek
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Sharkith

"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought"

"A gun gives you the body, not the bird"

"A clock that no longer works is still right twice a day"

"The harder you look for the meaning of life, the more you realise there is no meaning"

"Life's just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead"

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce

Made a list of some of the funniest ones I've seen:


'Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. '
Sam Levenson

'When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. '
Gracie Allen

'I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.'
Jack Benny

'I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.'
Oscar Wilde

'I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.'
Joan Rivers

http://www.quotationspage.com/

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

one for wyst
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
Sir Winston Churchill

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.
J. R. R. Tolkien,

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
Jilly Cooper

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Timothy Leary

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
Robin Morgan

dont matter who done this first.. who done that etc.. its what u do NOW that counts.
ilaya - hib/excal http://www.pryd.net/showthread.php?p=30528#post30528

People are like slinkies. they are useless but you cant help but laugh when you see one fall down the stairs.

Change people to chav, and thats hilarious

pikeh is forgiven all his sins of the past simply when he quotes that quote tbh

Banana wrote:pikeh is forgiven all his sins of the past simply when he quotes that quote tbh

what sins?!